30 Weeks on Monday

Hi Everyone,

I've slipped away from the blog for awhile. It's been rather busy here between work, school, homelife, etc.

So here are some updates. So far, he's doing quite well and I'm definitely getting bigger. It's becoming for of a challenge in terms of stairs, getting out of bed, etc. I've been also rather moody, well emotional. Little things cause great anxiety or upset me. For example, just a little thing at work tends to make me feel sad. I'm doing my best to not take things personally and just acknowledge that a lot of it is the hormonal rollercoaster. I'm hoping that this "period" will end soon so I can feel normal again. Other than that, I'm really thankful for those who I've leaned on to get through those times of irrationality.

Other than that bit of a downer, I'm really excited to have him here. I really want to start being a mom on the outside. The nursery is looking great thanks to Alex. I'll post pictures some time. I just want the chance to finally cradle him in my arms and say welcome. It's truly a blessing to have children and I hope others feel the same. I feel like I am a foreigner in this aspect sometimes. I take things very seriously in terms of what I eat and drink, while others see it as nothing serious. To me at least, it's not fair to the child. Yes, it's a burden on us, but do they choose to be dosed with unhealthy things? Not until they can pick up that bottle of Coke... but why not try to get away from that and not only get them on a good path, but also get yourself on a good path as well. Caffeine is bad for you anyways...a little doesn't hurt such as in chocolate or tea, but overloading on Mt. Dew and coffee just doesn't seem like a good idea to me.

I'm also happy about my Master's class. It's going really well so far. Sometimes it's hard to stay on track, but I'm learning a lot, though I tend to be forgetful at times. I'm presenting a paper next month at the Midwest MLA conference. It's hard to get credit for these since a lot of people don't consider literary research true research. Again, I feel like a foreigner in this case. Well, I do in a lot of cases, but I won't go there today. I feel like I'm striving for something that is completely different from everyone else which makes me so dissimilar that I can't really connect with anyone.

Again, perhaps it's just the hormones talking :)

Courtney